Category: Hysterical Tweets

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Showing 1–6 of 20 results

“Do you have Coke?” No is Pepsi ok? “Do you have Updog?” No what’s Updog? “Ha ha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not ok

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“Don’t worry, I’ll hold your stuff, you just worry about making friends.” ~ Cargo Shorts

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Approaches hot blonde at supermarket. “Excuse me has anyone ever told you that you’re blocking the fucking lunchables?”

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Fifth Third Bank? I don’t think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.

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Hate when the other guy goes for a handshake and I go for an open-mouth kiss and oh great I probably didn’t get this job

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HI Grandma, can you come pick me up from my rap battle? It’s over. No, I lost, he saw you drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it

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